CoNfUsÃo!!!!!!!

OH BABY, BABY IT'S A WILD WORLD...

Nao sei se voces ouviram algo a respeito de Cat Stevens, um pop star americano durante os anos 60 e 70. O cara, apos se tornar um milionario cantando a paz e o amor em suas musicas,de converteu ao islamismo, mudou seu nome para Yusuf Islam e  agora vive com sua esposa e cinco filhos em um pais no oriente medio.(http://www.yusufislam.org.uk/index.shtml) Bom, ate ai normal. Ele chegou a  promomover alguns movimentos de caridade e pela paz em paises do oriente medio como Paquistao. O fato e que o cara e um cidadao americano e foi impedido pelo FBI de entrar em seu proprio pais, ele poderia ter xingado meio mundo, ao inves disso com toda sua serenidade, informou que ira processar o governo americano.Ele retornaria a America apenas para o lançamento de um novo album com seus sucessos antigos e alguns que gravaria em estudio. Achei isso uma tamanha afronta. E como se dissessem que ninguem convertido ao islamismo pudesse entrar no pais por representar uma ameaça. Seria George "Bucha" o Hitler em versao Yankee do seculo vinte e um??? Como a minha mae sempre diz... "A America caira tao como o imperio romano!! Talvez voce nao veja mas os seus netos verao...!!"
Me desculpe novamente meus amigos americanos, alias meus amigos americanos sao um pouco neutros quanto a isso, falam muito mal do Bush e certamente concordariam comigo. America, um pais livre,Livre?? O proprio povo preso a ignorancia da lavagem cerebral dos noticiarios da Fox News ou CNN, ah disso eu posso falar porque tenho TV a cabo e prefiro mil vezes a BBC NEWS, embora seja contra a a titude estupida do Tony Blair em apoiar os Yankees, o povo ingles, diga-se bem europeu, nao e tao estupido.  America,Terra dos bravos.. Bravos??? Estao aterrorizados por qualquer coisa fora dos padores normais de acontecimento com medo de uma tragedia iminente. Mas eu nao vou me preocupar com a America dos Bravos acho que devo ficar mais atenta ao meu Brasil dos coverdes.

I think there's something you should know
I think it's time I told you so
There's something deep inside of me
There's someone else I've got to be
Take back your picture in a frame
Take back your singing in the rain
I just hope you understand
Sometimes the clothes do not make the man

All we have to do now
Is take these lies and make them true somehow
All we have to see
Is that I don't belong to you
And you don't belong to me
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
Freedom
You've gotta give for what you take
 
(FREEDOM-GEORGE MICHAEL)

ENGLISH VERSION:

OH BABY, BABY IT'S A WILD WORLD...

I don't know if you guys have heard something about Cat Sevens, an american pop star during the 60's and 70's. This man after getting a millionaire singing the peace and love on his songs, converted hiself to Islam religion, changed his name to Yusuf Islam and now lives with his wife and five kids on a middle east country. (http://www.yusufislam.org.uk/index.shtml)

Well,pretty normal untill that, He even promoted some campaings of charity for the peace in countries of the middle east as Pakistan. The fact is that he is an american citzen  and he was prohibited  by FBI to get into his own country!! He could have swore at the whole world, but instead of that, with all his serenity, he declared he would sue the american governament. He was returning to America just for the release of a new album with his old hit parades and would record some new songs on the studio. I thought this was so damm stupid!! As if they are saying that anyone who is converted to islamism could get into the country and represents a threat to the american people. Is it George "Bastard" Bush the yankee 21th century version of Hittler?? As my mother always says: "America is gonna break down just like Rome's empire!! Maybe you won't see that but your grandsons will!!"
I am sorry for my american friends, anyway, my american friends don't care too much about politics and say lots of bad things about Bastard Bush, they sure would agree with me on that. America the country of freedom. FEEDOM??? How can they be free being  stuck on the ignorance made by the brains washing coming from the news tv channels as Fox News and CNN, ah I can say that, because I have cable TV, I even prefer BBC NEWS, although I am against Tony Blair's stupid attitudes in supporting the Yankees. The english people,at least, we can say,are pretty europeans and not so stupid as the americans. AMERICA LAND OF BRAVES..BRAVES??? They are so terrified for anything that it is out of the normal standards of happennings afraid of an iminent tragedy. But well, I won't get worried about THE LAND OF BRAVES, I think I should pay more atention to my Brasil of cowards.

REALITY BITES...

Feeling like I'm stuck in a hole
body and soul
while you're out of control
Now I know why you had to go
well I think we both know
why it had to be so
I've been trying not to cry
when I'm in the public eye
Stuck here with the shame
and taking
my share of the blame
while making
sudden plans that don't include you...

E entao eu andava pela cidade em um dia de muito calor, nervosa porque eu odeio o calor e as ruas esburacadas estragavam minha sandalia delicada de salto baixo e fino. Eu liguei o pc para estudar e la estava um e-mail que me fez chorar... Minha ira fez com que eu perdesse o total controle da situaçao, desabafei junto com a minha ira tudo que estava guardado dentro de mim e nunca tive coragem de dizer... minhas lagrimas escorriam por baixo dos oculos escuros que ja estavam embassados..voces sabem..em uma cidade como o Rio dificilmente alguem te perguntara porque voce chora enquanto anda pelas ruas. Subindo as escadas, dei de cara com aquele cara..é aquele do beijo debaixo da chuva, parecia cena de tragicomedia romantica, por que ele tinha que estar ali?? Ele percebeu e claro! Segurou minha mao e disse:OI, eu pensei ca comigo: Ele nao tem culpa, nao posso ser tao rude com ele! Eu disse :Oi... liga pra mim  a noite! Eu sabia que eu nao estaria em casa a noite, mas disse isso para nao ser tao indelicada...ferir ao proximo nao faz mais parte do meu vocabulario.

Quando sai do predio, esperava pela van que me levaria ao aeroporto.Novamente, os oculos escondiam meus olhos desolados por aquelas palavras, seriam elas verdadeiras ou nao. Pedi para me sentar ao lado de um vendedor de extintores de incendio para carros,a cadeira pertencia a ele. Ele fora muito gentil, mas nao tirei os oculos escuros. O homem foi falando coisas a meu respeito, sem que eu dissesse uma so palavra...quando o onibus quase me atropelou enquanto eu estava sentada ele disse: Ei cara que isso, essa menina ainda tem que viver muito, e ser muito feliz!! Nada precisei dizer para que ele me perguntasse: Quem machucou seu coraçao,princesa?- Eu rspondi:"Ninguem me machuca nao. Mas se voce esta falando tantas coisas a meu respeito, sera que voce nao pode imaginar o que tanto me fere?"
Ele disse que ja sabia, e sabe, ele foi direto ao ponto sem que novamente eu abrisse a minha boca a respeito disso. Ele so dizia que a vida era linda e que bem como a vida eu tambem era e que eu nao precisava estar assim porque ,um dia, quando tudo isso acabar, la estarei, pronta para outras tantas.. como minha mae sempre diz, um escandalo abafa o outro.
Quase seis meses, e aquela ponta de esperança que me faz levantar da cama todos os dias, ainda esta la, e talvez seja por isso que a Mrs.H disse que aquilo ainda me feria.

Now I know you'd much rather be
with rock royalty
instead of someone like me
The big boys are back and we need them, you said
Think it was something you'd read
and it stuck in your head
Even though I don't suppose
that's as far as it goes
You've go quite an appetite
for being wronged and in the right
Well from now on it won't affect me...

A vida nao e o filme em que apos anos de convivencia dificil, duas pessoas se amam loucamente e por baixo dos lençois  dizem uma a outra:"Em todos esses ano, eu sempre te quis assim." E nem a vida de Ethan Hawke e Winina Rider que sao parte desta cena e assim... Mas se enquanto ha vida, ha esperança, assim sera para todos nos.Misses Indonesia me enojam...e o meu sexto sentido trabalhando duro mais uma vez.

I get along, get along
without you very well
I get along very well

The morning after the night before
I'd been alerted
to your lies
I phoned you up
Your calls were all diverted
Took a long time to track you down
even then you were defiant
It's not what you think it is, you said
and proceeded to deny it

So I lost my patience at last
and it happened so fast
you belong in the past
I've been trying not to cry
when I'm in the public eye
Stuck here with the shame
and taking
my share of the blame
while making
sudden plans that don't include you
 
PET SHOP BOYS - "I Get Along"

ENGLISH VERSION:

REALITY BITES:

Feeling like I'm stuck in a hole
body and soul
while you're out of control
Now I know why you had to go
well I think we both know
why it had to be so
I've been trying not to cry
when I'm in the public eye
Stuck here with the shame
and taking
my share of the blame
while making
sudden plans that don't include you..

And then, I was walking through the city on a very hot day, pretty nervous because I hate hot weather, and the streets full of holes was practically destroying my delicated small and fine hills sandals. I turned my pc on to study and there it was, an e-mails that made me cry...My anger made me loose control, I just spit out what I felt like saying, something hold inside of me and I never dared to say..my tears were running behind my sunglasses..you knoe..on a coty as Rio, someone would hardly ask why are you crying while walk through the streets. Going up the stairs, just in front of me, there he was...yeah the guy who I kissed on the rain some months ago. It seammed like a tragic/romantic comedy movie, why did he have to stay there??He realized of course, he held my hands and said :HI! I thought with myself:It is not his fault, I can't be rude at him at all! I said : HI! gimme a call tonight! I knew I would not be home a night, but I said that nt to be umpolite and rude..."hurting people" it is not part of my vocabulary anymore.

When I left the building, I was waitting for the van to take me to the airport. Once again, the sunglasses were hiding away my eyes so disheartenned by that words, being them truth or not. I asked to sit down besides the street seller, the chair belonged to him. He was very gentle, but I did not take my sunglasses off. The man started saying lots of things about me without me saying not even a single word...when a bus almost hit me when I was sitted on the chair, he said to the bus driver: Hey man! Come on! This girl still has to live much longer and be very happy! I didan't even need to say something to make him ask me: Who had hurt your heart princess?? I replied: "No one can hurt me. But if you are saying so many things about me. can't you also imagine what is making me down right now?"
He said he already knew it, and you know he went straight to the point without me saying any word again. He just said that I am as beautifull as life and I didn't need to feel that way, because one day, all that is gonna be over, and there I will be, ready for more..as my mother always says: AN SCANDLE IS ALWAYS FORGOTEN AFTER THE NEXT ONE.
Almost six months later and that small hope that makes me get out of my bad every morning, is still there, and maybe, that is because of that that MRS.H said that this thing still hurts me.

Now I know you'd much rather be
with rock royalty
instead of someone like me
The big boys are back and we need them, you said
Think it was something you'd read
and it stuck in your head
Even though I don't suppose
that's as far as it goes
You've go quite an appetite
for being wronged and in the right
Well from now on it won't affect me...

Life it is not a movie when two people after years of a difficult friendship, love each other so madlly under the sheets and say to each other:"Through all these years, I always wanted you like this... But if where there is life, there is also HOPE, so let it be like this for all of us then. Misses Indonesia makes me sick.. my sixth sense working hard again...

I get along, get along
without you very well
I get along very well

The morning after the night before
I'd been alerted
to your lies
I phoned you up
Your calls were all diverted
Took a long time to track you down
even then you were defiant
It's not what you think it is, you said
and proceeded to deny it

So I lost my patience at last
and it happened so fast
you belong in the past
I've been trying not to cry
when I'm in the public eye
Stuck here with the shame
and taking
my share of the blame
while making
sudden plans that don't include you...

(Pet Shop Boys- I get along.)

Um dia de maus pressentimentos e mas noticias...

Eu nao sei o quanto ando exigindo e consumindo de mim mesma com isso, mas eu passei um dia meio down, fiquei melhor apos uma ligaçao telefonica, mas o peso no meu coraçao, esses arrepios nas minhas maos , isso nao passou. Ontem nao tive aula, passei o dia em casa estudando e fui pro trabalho, quando aqui cheguei tudo normal. eu ocupadissima e entretida com meus afazeres e ainda assim pensando... nao foi normal o que senti hoje. Quando ele vem ate mim dizer que sua grande companheira esta em estado terminal de cancer e que logo morrera. Meus olhos se encheram de lagimas no mesmo instante. Eu nao queria, mas aconteceu. Liguei para uma pessoa que tambem estava triste, tentei dar a ela um pouco de conforto, ela passa pelo mesmo que passei ha exatos 5 meses.Eu nao desejo essa dor nem para o pior dos meus inimigos, e eu tenho que dizer que sou boa ouvinte boa amiga quando precisam de mim,embora eu o tenha aprendido a ser ha nao muito tempo atras.E fico feliz que eu o tenha percebido a tempo.Ainda assim eu senti uns arrepios nas minhas maos enquanto ela me contava sua estoria e  quando pude perceber que ela sente o mesmo que senti. Na verdade nao so ela, tenho um amigo que mora no meu coraçao e ele tem um coraçao partido, e sei que ele precisa de mim. Tenho medo que ele faça uma besteira. Eu sei que seu coraçao puro e o que mais sofre , so pelo simples fato de ser tao puro.

Hoje foi aniverssario da Mrs.H. Eu liguei para ela, ela achou muito doce da minha parte faze-lo. Nao pude me conter, chorei um pouco e no final ,me arrependi por ter chorado. Eu esqueci de dizer a ela que nada comentasse a ele, ou de dizer a ela que nada dissesse sobre minhas fraquezas, mas deixei claro de que a relaçao de amizade nao e tao amistosa como ela pensa que e. De qualquer forma nao posso pensar em arrependimentos ao abrir meu coraçao. eu a amo como se ela tivesse sido minha mae por um tempo, pois foi isso que ela realmente foi. Uma dia, quando ainda sonhavamos em nos unir, eu me vi cuidando dela quando ela envelhecesse,e a tratando com todo carinho desse mundo. Mesmo que uma dia eu soubesse de algo que ela pensa de mal a meu respeito, eu ainda assim nunca conseguirei sentir raiva dela. Eu sou assim. E nao e facil nao ser rancorosa, o mundo sente orgasmos ao pisar em gente assim.
Vou deixar uma homenagem a alguem que tambem e memebro desta familia que tem todo meu respeitoe que me fizera sentir menos saudade dos meus cachorros. Infelizmente, ela ja esta a caminho do paraiso. Ao menos estou muito feliz, pois tive a chance de conhece-la.
Ela mora no meu coraçao! Nao vou esquecer-la facilmente.

 EU E RANKA

ENGLISH VERSION...

A day of bad feellings and bad news...

I don't know how much I am demmanding of myself latelly with these feellings, but yesterday I had a sad day, I became better after a phone call, but the real feelling inside my heart, some kind of shiver on my hands didan't go away. Yesterday I ad no classes, I spent the day at home studying and went to my job, when I got there things seammed to be normal. I was very busy and concentrated in what I was doing and still thinking...It was not normal what I felt today. Sudenly he came to me to say that his best friend was on a terminal level of cancer and that she is gonna die soon. Right that moment my eyes became sore, full of tears. I did not want that but it happenned. I also called someone who is unhappy at the moment, I tryed to give her some comfort, she is facing the same I did 5 months ago. I don't wish this pain not even for my worst enemie, I have to say , I am a good listener and a good friend when people needs me, I didan't use to be before, and I am glad I realized that on time. I even felt this kind of shiver on my hands while she was telling me her story, she is feelling the same way I did, In fact not only her, I got a friend, a friend I carry inside my heart, he has a broken heart now, and I know he needs me, I need to stay by his side, I'm really afraid that he could do something harmfull to hisself. I know that he suffers even more, just for by fact of having a pure and good heart.

Today was Mrs. H's birthday, I called her, she said it was very sweet from me to do so. I could not hold on my tears,I cryed a little bit and at the end, I regreted. I forgot to say her not to tell him anything,or maybe not to tell him about my weakness when I cryed, but I let straight to her that the friendship it is not that nice as she thinks it is. Anyway I cannot think about regrets while openning my heart. I love her as if she had been my own mother for a time, because that is what she really was. One day, when we still dreammed about join each other, I saw myself  taking care of her when she gets old and treating her with all the love of this world, Even if one day I knew that she thinks something bad about me, still I would never get angry on her, I am this way. And it is not easy  be a non resentful one, the world likes to step on people like this.
I will honor someone who is also a  member of a familly that has all my respect. Someone who made me miss my dogs less, Unfortunatelly, she is on the way to heaven now. At least I am happy that I got the chance to meet her. She is in my heart!  I won't forget her that easilly.

 ME AND RANKA

SABADO,11DE SETEMBRO DE 2004/SATURDAY, 09/11/2004

Party people says:fuck off!!!!!! NOS SOMOS NORMAIS!!!VOCES E QUE NAO SABEM SE DIVERTIR!!!

WE ARE PRETTY NORMAL, IT IS YOU WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE FUN!!!!

7 DE SETEMBRO: DIA DA INDEPENDENCIA DEPENDENTE DO NOSSO PAIS.

BRASIL, MOSTRA A TUA CARA
QUERO VER QUEM PAGA
PRA GENTE FICAR ASSIM
BRASIL,QUAL E O TEU NEGOCIO?
O NOME DO TEU SOCIO?
CONFIA EM MIM....

               (CAZUZA-BRASIL)

CAMA KING SIZE...

Minha mae compra uma cama enorme pro meu quarto essa semana. Eu perguntei a ela: Porque uma cama tao grande para uma criatura de 1.55m de altura. Eu nao sou tao magra mas cabem duas de mim naquela cama. Ela nada respondeu, e eu nao sei porque eu tive que abrir meu bocao: ELE NUNCA MAIS SERA NOSSO HOSPEDE MAE! Ela fez um bico e ficou quieta.

MAE DE NOVO...

Hoje minha mae estava arrumando as coisas dela, e vendo uma fotos bem antigas, preto e brancas quase apagadas pelo tempo... Vi uma foto 3x4 de um rapaz que aparentava ter uns 19 ou 20 anos,DETALHE:ELE ERA A CARA DO MEU PAI QUANDO TINHA ESSA IDADE! Atras da foto uma mensagem: "SEM ILUSOES, SEM ENGANO, MAS NAO HA QUEM TE AME MAIS COMO EU TE AMO" EURICO. 23/11/1971. Eu perguntei: QUEM E ESSE MAE?? SE PARECE COM MEU PAI QUANDO JOVEM!
Ela disse que era uma cara chato que vivia atras dela quando estava no terceiro ano do segundo grau,e que ela e mais alguns colegas de classe costumavam estudar nacasa dele, disse que ele assim como meu pai era inteligentissimo e que se tornou professor de matematica e hoje e dono de escolas e cursos pre vestibular. Acho que financeiramente minha mae teria sofrido menos se entivesse casada com ele ahaha, que isso EU AMO MEU PAI!!!

VIVENDO E APRENDENDO...

Meu sexto sentido nao me engana jamais... meus sonhos e pesadelos tambem nao. Eu to odiando ter esses sonhos reveladores e esses pesadelos e esses sentimentos. O fato e que eu sonhei com algo que realmente aconteceu. E nessa semana me senti mal por ter julgado erroneamente duas pessoas que conheci, embora eu sempre soubesse o que estava por tras delas, uma delas eu nao vou dizer,porque ainda assim e uma pessoa maravilhosa que se tornou um amigo de coraçao. A outra foi uma garota da faculdade que eu achava um sebo, na sexta feira apareci la e nao tinha aula, ela estava parada na lanchonete e eu ja estava quase indo embora, eu nem ia falar com ela mas resolvi falar(MEU SENTO SENTIDO EM AÇAO DE NOVO), perguntei a ela: IH NAO ME AVISARAM QUE NAO TERIAMOS AULA HOJE!
Dai ela puxou assunto comigo, ficamos mais de duas horas conversando abessa e muitos assuntos em comum, Ela e um amor de pessoa, tem uma beleza exotica e e muito elegante tambem,converssamos muito sobre tudo, a menina ja e ate casada Sete anos!!! MUDANDO DE ASSUNTO....

MULHERES ESPERTAS TAMBEM SAO PODEM SER FUTEIS DE VEZ EM QUANDO BELO EXEMPLO :ELLE WOODS NO FILME LEGALMENTE LOIRA 1 E 2.

Fui a uma loja de departamento e representante da L'oreal me informou com pesar que e  a linha de maquiagem da mesma, saira do Brasil por falta de mercado consumidor, "ai que otimo".. onde vou encontrar aquela base opra peles mixtas agora???!!

E a boa noticia, eu nao sabia onde encontrar nenhum produto das marcas Lancome, Yvez Saint Lauren, Helena Rubeinsteim, Channel e Elisabeth Arden, uqe nao fosse me lojas caresimas ou aeroportos.cara.. eu faço terapia ali ha meses e nunca vi!!! Bem em frente ao predio tem uma loja com todos esses produtos por preços ate razoaveis!! E claro que nao vou torrar minha grana la! Mas uma vezinha ou outra que mal tem comprar um corretivo que REALMENTE faz efeito, ou um lapis de olho e rimel que nao borre nem que eu chore por dez vezes seguidas, e uma batom que dure mesmo que eu beije alguem por horas... HUM BEIJAR ALGUEM??!!ESSA VAI SER DIFICIL DE ACONTECER, PELO MENOS POR ENQUANTO. MEU TRAVESSEIRO E TESTEMUNHA PERGUNTE PRA ELE...

ENGLISH VERSION:

SEPTEMBER 7TH:THE INDEPENDENCE OF THE DEPENDENCE DAY OF OUR COUNTRY.

BRASIL, MOSTRA A TUA CARA
Brasil, show me your face
QUERO VER QUEM PAGA
I wanna know who is gonna pay
PRA GENTE FICAR ASSIM
For us to be this way
BRASIL,QUAL E O TEU NEGOCIO?
Brasil, what's your bussiness?
O NOME DO TEU SOCIO?
The name of your bussiness partner?
CONFIA EM MIM....
Trust in me...
               (CAZUZA-BRASIL)

It is kinda strange the translation to english but it makes sence if you are wise enough to undertand what is behind the lyrics.

KING SIZE BED:
My mamma bought a king size bed for my room last week. I asked her: Why a so huge bed for a 1.55m lenght one??? ok, I am not sooo thin but that bed were made for two of me! I don't know why I did not shut up: HE WILL NEVER EVER BE OUR GUEST ANYMORE MOM! She just pouted, turned her back and said nothing.

MOM AGAIN...

Today my mom was straighten up some of her stuff and there was some old black and white pretty old pictures in the middle that things... I saw an small picture of a guy who seamed to be about 19 or 20 years old. One small detail: The guy looked very much alike my dad when he was this age! Behind the picture there was a massage: " NO DECEIVING, NO ILLUSION, BUT THERE IS NO ONE WHO LOVES YOU MORE THAN I DO" EURICO, 23/11/1971(in portuguese there is a rhyme and it sounds as a verse). I asked her: who is this guy, mom? He looks like dad when he was young!
She said it was a guy who used to bother her, always on her back  when she was in high school, and that she and a couple of friends used to study on his house, she said he was just like my father, very intelligent and that he became a math teacher, nowadays, he owns some schools and courses. I think that she would have been financially suffered  less if she had gotten married him. OH no way ahaha, I LOVE MY DAD!!!

LIVING AND LEARNING...

My sixth sense  never deceives me up... my dreams and nightmares also don't. I am hating these kind of dreams I am having latelly. The fact is that I had dreammed more than once with things that really happenned. This past week, I felt really bad about 2 people I met. although I always realized what was behind their masks, one of them I will not mantion here because still it is a wonderfull one and turned into a lovely friend. The other one is a girl I met on college, I always thought that girl was too stuck up, on friday I got there and they said we would have no classes, she was on the snack bar and I was almost leaving, I would not talk to her but sudenlly I decided to do so (sixth sence in action again). I asked her: OH NOBODY CALLED ME TO SAY WE WOULD NOT HAVE CLASSES TODAY! THEN WE STARTED TALKING. We spent more than 2 hours talking and talking about all kind of things, we have many things in common, she is a very nice and elegant woman, also very  exotic and beautifull, the girl is married for 7 years already!!.. By The way...

                            WISE WOMEN CAN ALSO BE FRIVOLOUS SOMETIMES, A GOOD EXEMPLE: ELLE WOODS ON THE MOVIE LEGALLY BLONDIE 1 AND 2.

I went to a departament store and the girl who represents L'oreal told me that the  make up of them is leaving Brasil because we have not enough people buying their products. oh that is "fucking great" where am I gonna find that foundation base for oiled skin now??!!

And the good news, I did not know where to find the brands as Lancome,Yves Saint Lauren, Helena Rubeinstein, Channel, Elisabeth Arden if not on very expensive places or airports. Then leaving the building where I do Therapy sessions, I could realize that JUST IN FRONT OF THE BUILDING there is a store selling them for reasonable prices! Of course I will not burn my money in there! But once in a life time, there is nothing bad in buying a foundation base that really keeps on my face and has a good effect, or an eye pencil  or mascara that doens't melt on my eyes even if I cry for 10 times straight, or a lipstick that lasts even if I kiss someone for hours...AHAHA KISS SOMEONE???!!! THAT IS GONNA BE SOMETHING REALLY HARD TO HAPPEN, AT LEAST BY NOW. MY PILLOW KNOWS THAT PRETTY WELL...JUST ASK HIM...